It inspires me.

 I still write to you everyday in my head. I imagine that letter just dropped in the mailbox is from you – I can see your handwriting. I still lie awake at night and remember my fingers on your stubbly face in the dark.The night after we first spoke, I went outside and wished on the brightest star that all my happiness could be given to you so that you could feel better. I know you think wishing on stars is cliched and naive. But that’s me. In fact, I am so naive that I like to imagine that you still think about me now, some years later. I like to think that you sometimes wonder about me, sometimes wish you could tell me secrets and tell me jokes like you used to.

One night I dreamt about you. Shyly you looked me in the eyes and asked, “How do you know?” Taking one long breath I began to explain that things are just different with you. I have never in my entire life had these feelings before. It is a feeling of being scared and excited, with a bit of pleasure mixed in. There is so much I could write down of how much I feel for you. But I am afraid that I do not have the time, the paper, nor the writing ink to do so…because there is so much! Maybe you do not even need me to write it all down. You have a way of knowing what I feel anyways. But know this– you are the hope and the future I have always dreamt of and need. I want you to stay with me to laugh, cry, create, love and live. For the first time in my life I can say that I truly know myself and I know much more about you.